The first skill to learn

As you embark on life it makes sense to ask the question: what skill(s) should I learn — and in what order? What combinations of skills will give me the most joy and happiness? In essence; what should I spend time on?

This is a difficult question because it is regarding the future, which is always uncertain. However, there are a few skills that are clearly more robust than others. Robust in the sense that they are useful no matter what the future looks like.

First and foremost there will be one constant in your life: You. Nothing else will be there all the time. So get to learn yourself, truly. This means really looking into yourself, with courage and see who and what you are, with attention. Meditate. Be honest with yourself.

Take care of yourself, physically and mentally. Be kind with yourself, and kindness will come to you. Respect yourself.

Spend more time cultivating good emotions (that bring you happiness) combined with inner peace. Good emotions because they feel good — and inner peace so you can tolerate when things don’t feel good — because they won’t all the time.

Know when bad feelings (that don’t bring you happiness) are controlling you. This happens a lot and very easily because we are conditioned to feel them. Hatred, fear, anger, jealousy.

Understand that feeling these emotions does not bring you any happiness most of the time— rather it inflicts double the pain for you. Once when something inflicts this pain on you and secondly when you feel it, over and over. No need. Rather, focus on cultivating good emotions (that bring you happiness).

Living honestly opens all sorts of doors to live — bravely and creatively. Don’t do anything that does not come from within you as well. Trust yourself and be creative, learn to enjoy life. This is a skill that will be of use always. Then, start filling with other skills— based on your own honesty.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I don’t know how long it takes to master this skill of life enjoyment. I’m still working on it. Maybe if you are more attentive and focused you can do it faster. Point being, it does make sense to do other stuff at the same time, just keep this priority. It is a process and you get better at it over time (as with most things).

Extra idea: Perhaps we were very good at enjoying life as children and then lost it, actually. Most children under 10 seem to enjoy themselves a lot more than many adults. So this skill might be a sort of “re-learning” a childlike way of being — or “undoing” whatever becoming an adult taught you.