Social status games

Status games are something we play a lot as humans. It is a way of establishing pecking order and understanding complex human relationships in social networks. I believe we should minimize the amount of status games played — simply because it diminishes creativity and fun in general.

Status games revolve around (among other things) constant want to be clever, showing-off, laughing at other’s mistakes, pointing out bad things in others excessively while upping yourself. Those are some of the bad things in status games. I think few people do these things consciously — rather they are automatic ways of socializing, deeply embedded in human nature. Which is what makes it so easy to succumb to a status lifestyle.

The main point is: if there is constant pressure to not make mistakes and to be clever all the time — it is exhausting! Have you ever spent much time with people constantly playing status games? It is not a fun time because you’re constantly on your guard. On the defensive, the opposite from a creative state of mind — according to the creative-defensive axis. [1]

When you are un-afraid you are more creative, understanding, and open to new ideas and testing things. That is in my opinion a state of mind to aim towards in everyday life — be it work, home or wherever.

How can you avoid status games? It is very difficult because it really touches your soul when someone is playing status games on the cost of your status — if that makes sense. It is such a natural response to “an attack” on your persona to attack back and become defensive. They are such a strong tool to control an environment — you can easily make people angry or sad playing status games. Which is why it is easy to spend too much time on them — and you’re gonna have a bad time.

Don’t get me wrong, some status games can be played when in a new environment to get to learn each other. They probably are necessary to create a calm environment where everyone sort of knows their place in relation to people around them. Its usually bad advice to go against nature — and status games are a clever evolved way of nature to create natural selection. Nevertheless, they should not be played excessively. In my experience if you want to have a creative state of mind where thought can be free to go wherever is best — status games should not be played.

So in a nutshell, play status games until you reach a calm state of understanding each other — and then use that state to live in a creative and fun-loving way. Maybe choose to react in better ways to others’ status games (difficult)?

It is not that simple in reality though. For some reason, some people can not let go of status games. They just keep on playing. The best way to deal with these people is to avoid spending time with them — they will inevitably pull you into status games and you’re gonna have a bad time.

Thank you for reading.

[1] Discover-defend axis. The idea there is, your brain has a couple of different modes. One is defending you against threats, and the other is going out and seeking and discovering rewards.

These modes result in quite different approaches to life. When you are in defensive mode, you are quite tunnel-visioned. You’re closing down: It’s fight, flight or freeze. What happens in defensive mode — and we know this when we’re put on the spot — is it becomes harder to think straight. What’s been found is that there’s actually less activity in the prefrontal cortex when people are even mildly stressed. In other words, when we’re on the defensive against some kind of threat — and it can be as small as being cut off in a meeting or being put on the spot — it’s enough to actually make us seize up slightly and not be able to think straight, just at the moment when we want to raise our game.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28370086-how-to-have-a-good-day